…it’s been a funny few days. Not funny as in laughter, funny in that I’m feeling REALLY out of sorts. It has been almost a month since my Dad died, and can’t lie, that is on my mind A LOT. Though I have accepted what has happened to my family, and I think I’m doing pretty well, my emotions are quite the roller coaster. Things that I expect will “set me off” don’t, and then, grief will come out of nowhere. I’ll see things that remind me of my Dad, or think “I need to tell Dad that” and then, the sadness kicks in again. But even before my Dad got sick, I wasn’t really feeling myself.
I feel like I’m almost ‘going through the motions’ of living….I’m in a fog. Right now, life is nothing more than day to day existence. I’ve lost interest in meal planning and cooking (something I normally love), I haul myself out and walk and go to yoga, I go to work, I come home, I still get things done, but I feel, for lack of a better word…flat. (thought safe to say my stomach isn’t flat! HA!)
I was talking to my cousin Helen about that this afternoon, and she agrees, maybe I’m expecting too much of myself given the last couple of months of my life. I look forward to feeling like “Roz” again. I look forward to making plans. I look forward to reconnecting with our friends, who have been AMAZING, but have understandably taken a back seat to family issues. (seriously, I have the BEST friends in the world) I look forward to feeling a sense of calm and peace, that seems to have eluded me for a while. I look forward to being enthusiastic about my blog, and making/sharing recipes and healthy living tips and ideas. I look forward to REALLY sussing out great photo ops, and sharing them here as well.
I hope all of you bear with me and forgive me if posts lately don’t seem up to snuff. And know that weightingfor50 will be back bigger and better than ever before….I just need to get my head around life, let myself go through the motions of grieving the loss of my amazing Dad (which just doesn’t seem real – I felt so strong for the first couple of weeks after he died, these last couple of weeks have been a little tougher), and getting back to a place of enthusiasm and interest in most things that I do. All that will come back, that is my promise to you, my readers and friends!
So enough of the brain dump, I’ll just share pics from the day and move on.
Today’s Photo A Day challenge prompt is “person”. I love this picture of our good friend Jeff, from my archives. He’s a wonderful person, and Dennis and I are both so grateful for his friendship. And he’s quite the wake boarder! :)
Today’s 365 Days in Nature shot is a black and white twist on a picture of a gull that I took a couple of months ago. (I have since learned that birds stand on one leg to stay warm. Who knew? I did not….)
Today, I had a chance to go for a little walk at lunchtime (though work has been pretty busy for the last couple of days). Boo! The summer leaves are turning….
…and the ferns are getting ready to seed for next year….
There are still some flowers around though, and they are beautiful.
Some geese have started hanging out at our little community garden.
This pictures almost looks black and white, but it was just a very dull day, and this woman’s pants popped against the grey.
Speaking of “photo popping”, the rain made the web of this spider pop….
When I was out and about, I walked by my “happy place”, the bird pond by our garden…..the gulls were flapping and flying, and the ducks were a little manic. From what I hear, that is a cleaning/preening behavior of them, and it is hilarious to watch.
No water here, these birds are on a wire…..
I walked by the vet’s who have kitties for adoption. OMG….sooooooo cute!!!!!! I have NO doubt these little babies will find forever homes VERY soon!
And finally, given the rain of the day, slugs and my beloved snails were out in force. I think the slugs are fascinating, but I don’t encourage them onto my hands like I do snails….
No problem coaxing several of them onto my hands. It was a veritable snail orgy in my palm. (ahem)
I let them back onto a leaf…..
…and then into a container with a weathered ceramic frog.
And yes, I am aware I am weird because snails lift my spirits. :)
Thanks for reading my brain dump, thanks for sticking by me, and thanks to you, my blog friends for all the love and support I’ve been given!!! I hope I can send it back your way sometime soon. Hugs for all!!!!